My Boy
by Jasperemerald23
Summary: Gavin's taken to going up on the roof when life gets too hard, and all his mind can tell him is "One more step." Rooster Teeth fanfic. WARNING: Attempted suicide. It doesn't actually happen in this story, but it could still be triggering, so be warned.


**My Boy**

"_You freakin' suck, Gavin."_

The cruel words bounced around the Brit's head as he stared straight ahead, dangerously close to the edge of the roof.

He'd found himself coming to the roof of the office more often now. At first, he couldn't figure out why the silence was so appealing, but then it hit him. It was just that. _Silence._ It was a nice change from day after day in the office, getting screamed at by Michael and laughed at by the rest of the Lads and Gents. At first it didn't bother him very much. He'd grown up with a brother after all. A little teasing was nothing new to him.

"_You're a complete idiot."_

But then he'd started working with Michael, and every insult the red-head threw at him pierced his heart like shards of ice and it _hurt._ It hurt so badly. Gavin hadn't been expecting this kind of pain, and it was only when Geoff had sat him down after a week of watching him mope around and told him bluntly that he was in love with Michael did the pain begin to make sense.

Gavin sighed and, not for the first time since he begin fleeing from his day to day life and began watching the world from the rooftop, looked over the edge to see the hard grey pavement below. It looked so comforting, and he knew that it wasn't normal to think like that, but that didn't stop that thought from entering his head every time he looked down.

_"Stupid freaking moron."_

He sniffed, and for the first time since he'd come to America, he felt tears rolling down his cheeks and down his oversized nose that his "friends" would go out of their way to make fun of. He made no effort to wipe them away, and merely watched as they fell, painting the roof with saltwater. _That could be me, falling down, down, down._

He knew that thought should scare him, and that he should get up and climb down and go back to a life filled with shouting and insults and constantly being hurt by a man he knew didn't love him, but he stayed, because anything was better than that.

"_You're worthless, Gavin. Absolutely worthless."_

He let out a sudden sob as every insult, every abusive comment attacked his mind, and he hid his face in his hands as sob after sob wracked his body. He wanted nothing more than to just stop breathing right now, to end everything so he wouldn't have to deal with this endless pain and heartbreak anymore. These thoughts might have left his head eventually, if he hadn't lifted his tear streaked face off of his hands the tiniest bit and caught a glimpse of the dark sidewalk below. _He could end it._

Before he knew it, he was standing up and taking a step towards the edge of the roof. The voices were reduced to echoes pounding in his head, urging him to take another step. To jump. To stop all of the hate and torment and heartbreak and just _end it._ He took another step and found himself at the very edge of the roof. The ends of his sneakers were jutting off the edge now. All he needed was one more step. One more-

"_You're the light."_

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"_You're the light that I need in the darkness."_

He'd forgotten about that. The Silent Hill video he and Michael had made. One of the few videos they'd released that didn't have Michael screaming at him. Quite the contrary, actually.

"_That candle's got a little bit of wax left."_

"_You're the sun."_

A few more tears rolled down his face as he remembered all the times where Michael had complimented him, had worked with him, had told him that they were best friends and reassured him that nothing was going to change that.

"_You're my boy, Michael."_

Michael would never love him as a boyfriend, but he _could_ love him as a best friend. Maybe he already did. Emerald eyes looked down again at the cold pavement.

_One more step._

"No." Gavin said out loud, taking a step away from the ledge. "Not yet. Not now."


End file.
